Saturday, July 18, 2009

To Someone Else...

I am literally SOBBING my way through this episode of “16 and Pregnant.”

The show is about, well, you guessed it, 16 year olds who get pregnant and their experiences through the pregnancy and after. For the final episode, MTV showed a young couple who decided to give their daughter to another couple through adoption. (Read their interview here.)

Most of the episodes have been pretty typical, at least for me. The mom struggles through the pregnancy and afterward, and has the same fights with the dad that I had with my husband (It’s YOUR turn to change the diaper). But all of this was tainted with the funk of immaturity. I was terrified about being able to care for another human being. I still am. They were drunk with excitement. It was interesting to watch them sober up.

But these kids are so brave. And so selfless. Part of the reason they decided to give the baby up was because of the instability in their lives. Both came from homes with ex-felon parents, or had jumped from relative to relative because of their parent’s inability to care for them. They wanted something better for their daughter and wanted it in the face of opposition from the same parents who had made their lives so unstable.

“There’s plenty of love to take care of that baby. You just gotta make it happen,” one of the parents said (the ex-convict). The boy replied, “Love is why I have to give her a better life. And get her away from this hell hole.”

I wish all 16-year olds were as smart as them. Granted, they weren’t very smart getting pregnant at that age. But hell, my pregnancy wasn't planned and I was six years older! I watched one episode of a girl living on her grandmother’s couch with her mom who was also pregnant and wondered why she didn’t get it.

Honestly, I would not be brave or selfless enough to carry a baby for nine months and then give it to someone else. I’m too selfish. I would sooner get an abortion.

I guess that’s why this couple affected me as it did. Because they are able to do something that so many people NEED to do, but are too selfish to do. Give something so personal and precious to someone else.

1 comment:

  1. I haven't watched a full episode of this show yet. Caught bits and pieces here and there but I have to say that I think I watched the same episode with the couple that wanted to give the baby up for adoption.

    I do think adoption is a very, very brave choice. You'll know your baby is somewhere, with someone taking care of it, but just to give up control like that is mind-bending to me. I don't know if I could do it. It would eat at my heart every single day....

    Great post! :)