Tuesday, December 29, 2009

30. Be More Positive...

Inspired by The Young Mommy Life...

30 Things Before I Turn 30...

1. Be well-established in my career
2. Go on a honeymoon (I was 5 months preggo when we got married, so that was out)
3. Start an annual trip with my girlfriends.
4. See my BFF at least once a year.
5. Go to the gym regularly.
6. Start having regular appointments for hair, nails and maintenance.
7. Get a concealed carry license.
8. Actually have the weekly dates my husband and I schedule.
9. Spend more time with my fellow "mommy friends."
10. Have the rest of the kids I'm going to have.
11. Spend more time on "me."
12. Read more books.
13. Read more Supreme Court cases.
14. Try more creative recipes.
15. Take a cooking class.
16. Get plastic surgery!
17. Take my son on more mommy-son outings.
18. Plan a huge anniversary party!
19. Entertain more.
20. Read the Bible, Qu'ran, and the Torah.
21. Talk to my friends regularly and more frequent.
22. Run for public office.
23. Be more open-minded... and nicer.
24. Makeover my wardrobe.
25. Do more community service.
26. Train for and complete a marathon.
27. Get a new car.
28. Get a bigger house.
29. Start a real estate investment company.
30. Be more positive.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


My "70 Percent (Tentative) Myth" post was inspired by a blog on thefreshxpress.com.

Just an FYI...


Do You Know What Today Is?

Today is our two-year anniversary!

Monday, December 21, 2009

The 70 Percent (Tentative) Myth...

I keep seeing references to this "fact" that 70% of African-American women are single. Yet, I have had difficulty locating the source for this. Whenever someone did reference a source for the "fact" it sent me here:


The table for "Black Alone" suggested that the "fact" often referenced is nonexistent. The chart has no reference for "single black women." It does, however, reference percentages of black women who have never married, which, I think, is different. Single suggests someone who is not in a committed relationship, engaged, seriously dating, etc. I'm sure these groups wouldn't consider themselves single, even though, legally they may be. But, this fact is utilized in a manner that suggests that 70% of African-American women, right now, are without a current prospect for marriage and I don't think that's what the data suggests.

What it does say is that although African-American women outnumber African-American men, AA men are statistically (slightly) less likely to end up married than AA women (47.5 - never married v. AA women at 44.5%). If this is accurate, it would suggest that black women have a little less of a problem getting/ staying married than AA men.

So, I would like to know where the 70% statistic comes from, because although I am not ready to deny its existence, I can't validate it either. Furthermore, it seems that we've all become more concerned about what the other person is/ isn't doing, why THEY are not married, why THEY are not happy, etc. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy an alternative perspective, because sometimes those perceptions are more clear than your own. But I am also a firm believer of "getting your own house in order." I'm not in the best position to identify, correct, highlight the issues black men may or may not have. What I can do to remedy the issues in my community are simple and only require my determination.

For example, many of our children are being raised in single-parent homes and have absent fathers. I stopped sleeping with/ dating men I did not see as potential fathers AND husbands. I don't judge casual sex-ers, but if the condom breaks, I'd prefer it be with someone I'd like to look at 18+ years from now. I am happy to say that I am married to a man who is an excellent father AND husband (in fact, we are two hours from celebrating our two-year anniversary). My son will (hopefully) be raised in a two-parent household and learn to be a good husband and father from our example.

I'm not saying that everyone has to put on the "only good daddy's have the key" chastity belt. And there are obviously other issues that we may not be able to solve by ourselves. But, what I am saying is that a little self-reflection, and concerted effort on our OWN parts to improve our community might be more effective than picking out and pointing out each other's flaws.