Thursday, July 16, 2009

Bad Mommy Day...

Every mom has those days when they feel like they are officially out of the running for mommy of the year.

I am having one of those days.

My granny, who watches Madi while we’re at work, called me this afternoon. She rarely ever calls me so I knew that it was something really good or something bad. Since he just had his potty phenomenon, I figured it might’ve been something bad.

Turns out that in my haste this morning to get him ready, I put his shoe on with his toes curled under. I noticed that it was a little difficult to get his shoe on, but I thought it was the angle or something – honestly, I didn’t really pay much attention to WHY it was hard, I just put it on and kept going.

So, at my granny’s he took a step and fell over crying. She noticed him limping and took his shoe off and saw that his toes were curled under. His big toe was a bit swollen and the bottom of his toenail was bleeding a little. I was at work then, but when I got home I cried and kissed him and told him I was sorry.

I know, I know. It’s not that big of a deal, it’s just his toe.

But you don’t understand. There is this immense pressure to… I don’t know… not fuck it up. Like, I don’t want to mess up this kid. So, for me, it wasn’t about a big toe. For me it was like, jeez, you can’t even put the boy’s shoe on right, how are you going to handle the big stuff?

I’ve had these days before. When he was three days old I accidentally dropped a lotion bottle on his head. It only grazed it, but I immediately started bawling. Madi kept doing what most babies his age do – nothing.

When he was about six months I was carrying too much stuff to the car, dropped something and put his car seat on top of my husband’s car while I bent over to pick up the lost item. Predictably, his car seat slid off and I barely grabbed a hold of it before the bottom hit the ground. He cried for a few seconds.

I cried for an hour.

I guess the point is this: There are going to be some mistakes (duh). And even though us moms know that, it doesn’t make the mistakes (no matter how big or small) hurt any less. It’s just part of having a bad mommy day.


  1. Girl, you are doing just fine. You do not want to get me started on my list. The good news is that it takes more than all that mess our babies up ( at least thats what i keep telling myself)

  2. I agree, I think you are doing a great job! LOL. My son is one now and you do not want to know how many times he has fallen off the couch, bed, chair, etc. My sister was watching him with me one day and said, "Oh, no, he fell off the couch." I kind of shrugged and said, "Yeah, well, it's Tuesday." LOL.